第20章

This vibrant emotion in Garth, so strangely disturbing to her own solid calm, was in no sense personal to herself, excepting in so far as her voice and musical gifts were concerned.Just as the sight of paintable beauty crazed him with delight, making him wild with alternate hope and despair until he obtained his wish and had his canvas and his sitter arranged to his liking; so now, his passion for the beautiful had been awakened, this time through the medium, not of sight, but of sound.When she had given him his fill of song, and allowed him to play some of her accompaniments, he would be content, and that disquieting look of adoration would pass from those beautiful brown eyes.Meanwhile it was pleasant to look forward to to-morrow, though it behooved her to remember that all this admiration had in it nothing personal to herself.He would have gone into even greater raptures over Madame Blanche, for instance, who had the same timbre of voice and method of singing, combined with a beauty of person which delighted the eye the while Garth Finds his Rosary her voice enchanted the ear.Certainly Garth must see and hear her, as music appeared to mean so much to him.Jane began planning this, and then her mind turned to Pauline Lister, the lovely American girl, whose name had been coupled with Garth Dalmain's all the season.Jane felt certain she was just the wife he needed.Her loveliness would content him, her shrewd common-sense and straightforward, practical ways would counterbalance his somewhat erratic temperament, and her adaptability would enable her to suit herself to his surroundings, both in his northern home and amongst his large circle of friends down south.Once married, he would give up raving about Flower and Myra, and kissing people's hands in that--"absurd way," Jane was going to say, but she was invariably truthful, even in her thoughts, and substituted "extraordinary" as the more correct adjective--in that extraordinary way.

She sat forward in her chair with her elbows on her knees, and held her large hands before her, palms upward, realising again the sensations of that moment.Then she pulled herself up sharply."Jane Champion, don't be a fool! You would wrong that dear, beauty-loving boy, more than you would wrong yourself, if you took him for one moment seriously.His homage to-night was no more personal to you than his appreciation of the excellent dinner was personal to Aunt Georgina's chef.In his enjoyment of the production, the producer was included; but that was all.Be gratified at the success of your art, and do not spoil that success by any absurd sentimentality.Now wash your very ungainly hands and go to bed." Thus Jane to herself.

* * * * * * *And under the oaks, with soft turf beneath his feet, stood Garth Dalmain, the shy deer sleeping around unconscious of his presence;the planets above, hanging like lamps in the deep purple of the sky.

And he, also, soliloquised.

"I have found her," he said, in low tones of rapture, "the ideal woman, the crown of womanhood, the perfect mate for the spirit, soul, and body of the man who can win her.--Jane! Jane! Ah, how blind I have been! To have known her for years, and yet not realised her to be this.But she lifted the veil, and I passed in.Ah grand, noble heart! She will never be able to draw the veil again between her soul and mine.And she has no rosary.I thank God for that.No other man possesses, or has ever possessed, that which I desire more than I ever desired anything upon this earth, Jane's love, Jane's tenderness.Ah, what will it mean? 'I count each pearl.' She WILLcount them some day--her pearls and mine.God spare us the cross.

Must there be a cross to every true rosary? Then God give me the heavy end, and may the mutual bearing of it bind us together.Ah, those dear hands! Ah, those true steadfast eyes!...Jane!--Jane!

Surely it has always been Jane, though I did not know it, blind fool that I have been! But one thing I know: whereas I was blind, now Isee.And it will always be Jane from this night onward through time and-please God--into eternity."The night breeze stirred his thick dark hair, and his eyes, as he raised them, shone in the starlight.

* * * * * * *And Jane, almost asleep, was roused by the tapping of her blind against the casement, and murmured "Anything you wish, Garth, just tell me, and I will do it." Then awakening suddenly to the consciousness of what she had said, she sat up in the darkness and scolded herself furiously."Oh, you middle-aged donkey! You call yourself staid and sensible, and a little flattery from a boy of whom you are fond turns your head completely.Come to your senses at once; or leave Overdene by the first train in the morning."